"For God's sake get yourself a car"

Many decades ago, when I was much younger and dumber, some woman brushed me off with the memorable line, "For God's sake get yourself a car." At the time, I had recently moved to a large city, had just gotten a real job, and moved in a small area well served by public transportation, so while I didn't really like our car dependence even then, I basically had just not gotten around to the job of becoming motorized.

The memory of that has made me think now and then of the problems a young man would face if he were dedicated to being car-free. The state of carlessness would be a first impression that he might have trouble negating. What could he do about that? I thought about it over the years, and came up with an answer that I never will have a chance to try, but I wish I could because I think it could be great sport.

The first thing a guy would have to do is get a job and living arrangement where he could ride a bike to work, or walk. Public transportation is possible also, but there is monetary expense, and the goal is to minimize the monetary expense of going to work.

Then, go shopping for a car you might reasonably like to have. Probably that would be a compact car with just the basics. I am thinking of a new car, because the calculations are easier. With used, there is the unknown factor of repairs, but with new we can assume that repairs for the first five years will be minimal. Find the price of that new car, and divide the price by 60 months to find out how much you would have to pay per month to own it. If you would expect to borrow the money, it is fair to add the interest to this calculation.

Find the mileage figures for the car, and the current price of gasoline, and your distance to work, and calculate how much it would cost in gasoline if you drove to work every day.

Use the distance to work to estimate how may miles you would drive in a year to work, divide by 3,000 to get the number of oil changes you would need in a year, multiply by about $25 per oil change, and divide by 12 to get monthly amount for oil changes

Call an insurance agent, give the model of the car you have found, and find out how much it would cost per month for basic insurance.

If you would have to pay for garage space at home or parking at work don't forget those amounts.

Add up all the monthly amounts to find out how much a car would cost you per month.

Open a dedicated savings account (or just keep records if you are disciplined) and every month put into it your calculated monthly car cost.

To be fair, this money is your transportation budget, so if you have to buy a bus pass or take a taxi, pay for it from this account.

With the transportation account in place and funded, go to a neighborhood car rental place and rent a car. Pay for it from the transportation account. Find out what the procedure is, what their hours are, how much lead time you need, etc. Do this a few times until the procedure is smooth, they know you there, and you are comfortable doing it. Also, use the car so your driving skills don't atrophy. Continue renting a car once every month or two whether you need it or not, just so that it is easy to get one when you need it.

The above is preparation. Now for the execution.

When you meet some female and want to get beyond that first impression of carlessness to make some personal connection, don't say anything about whether or not you own a car. If you make a date and you will be expected to show up motorized, make sure the date is a couple days out. Then, rent a car and show up in it. Do NOT say anything about it AT ALL. Deflect or ignore any discussion of your automibile. You are not interested in her for car discussions anyway, nor should she be interested in you for that reason.

If things do not progress to a second date, it's probably not a car-related issue. Let her go, or address that other issue. If things do proceed to a second date, then your fun begins.

For the second date, do exactly as before. Rent a car and say nothing about it. If you get the same car or she is unobservant, things will go generally as before. If you get a different car and she is observant, she might ask about it or be too shy. If she doesn't ask, don't tell; let her wonder. Eventually she will crack and ask. If or when she does ask, then you get to make your points about not owning a car.

Your points will be many and they will be good, if she is capable of logical analysis. You clearly know how to operate a car since you have been using one to see her. You will have hard figures for the amount of money you are saving by not owning one. If your transportation account has grown enough, you could be in a position to walk into a dealership, write a check, and drive away. You could say that you are saving money for travel, or to buy a house. Engage her in discussion to find out if owning a car right now is so important that the other obvious benefits you have (extra money, new car on demand, no repair expenses) should be sacrificed for it, even though you have clearly demonstrated that you could buy and use a car tomorrow if you wanted to.

If, at that point, she is stuck on you owning a car when you do not presently own one but could walk into a dealership tomorrow and buy one, then you clearly have a values mismatch. But if she had some logical capabilities, she should see that you have some alternatives that are worth serious consideration.